 |
 Turn this… |
 Into this! |
Do you gaze upon the cars of the street racers with awe and pride? Do you wish that someday, just maybe, you could be like them? (Except without the criminal record) If so, this article is for you! We will explore how to pimp-out your ride in under one paycheck. But be forwarned, in addition to looking cool, you will now have to worry about getting pulled over by the police because your car experience significant performance gains.
The first step to improving your car is to update the interior of the car, as this is where all serious performance gains come from.
- NOS steering wheel cover -
We all know that NOS means performance. The obvious step to making your car faster is to invest in a NOS steering wheel cover. This will ensure a firm grip during cornering, as well as increased handling while weaving in and out of traffic at an excess of 75mph.
- R-Racing Floor Mats -
Nothing will add to the solid plastic feel of your import like a low-cost set of floor mats. ‘R-Racing’ floor mats are a good choice because the ‘R’ emulates Honda’s Type-R paraphernalia but at a fraction of the cost.
- NX Racing Seat Covers -
While subtly referencing the admirable Acura NSX, NX seat covers will nicely accent the interior of your import. Acceleration and braking should be noticebly improved.
- In order to ensure presice shifting, smooth quick acceleration, and firm braking, a set of pedal covers is essential. You will feel a liberation of your left foot as you glide effortlessly from gear to gear, and acceleration will be like a trip though Aumsville, Oregon (quick).
Once the interior is to your satisfaction, you can move on towards the outside of the car. Please note that exterior mods do not have as much bearing on performance as interior upgrades.
- Wheel Covers -
In the old days, they called these “hub caps,” but to keep up our images, we now call them wheel covers. Capable of blinding a disabled VietNam war veteran at 50 yards, wheel covers make an amazing difference in how others view your car.
Though mechanical modifications yield the least of the performance gains on imported vehicles, it will give you something to talk about among your buddies if you are feeling particularly manly that day.
- Performance air filter -
Let your car breath freely, as our engines require lots of fresh, cool air to run optimally. Choose a K&N air filter to do the job. (WARNING: this may noticably increase horsepower and acceleration)
- Performance muffler -
What ride would be complete without an oversized performance muffler? You can warn your neighbors of your presence from over five (5) blocks away with a good muffler. Shove in the clutch and throw the motor a quick rev (6,000+ rpms) and you can be detected from nearly one (1) mile away. That’s right - 5280 ft of pure import sound waves!
When selecting a muffler, ensure that the exiting tailpipe is at least twice the diameter of the rest of the exhaust piping. Please note that it is not necessary to upgrade any exhaust piping other than the muffler when performing this modification, contrary to the above picture, which shows some pre-muffler piping.
Well, there you have it - all the modifications your car needs to be up to par with the street racers! If you’re not up to the challenge just yet, go downtown on Friday night, and wiggle through traffic. If you don’t love the way your car drives, you have probably improperly performed one of the above modifications. These mods may be challenging, but your car will thank you!
Note:
For those who were too blind to catch it, this article took a sarcastic approach to the world of imported vehicle modifications. And please, for Pete’s sake, I DO know that the cars at the top were a 77 Honda Civic and a late 90’s Mitsubishi Eclipse, which will never look like each other. Please drive responsibly and try not to get on my nerves, if you still feel you need to drive one of these crazed import cars (that includes ‘domestic imports’). And since the way I wrote this article doesn’t let me write it anywhere else, I officially dub this article (unofficially) ‘How to Rice Your Ride’
Other Post Entries You Might Enjoy!
One Response to “How To Pimp-Out Your Ride (in under one paycheck!)”
this article rocks and i take it in the ass
Care to comment?
You must be logged in to post a comment.