Archive for the 'Random TimeCheeze' category
About Damn Time, Scorsese wins an Oscar.
Monday, February 26, 2007 11:44 pm
Wrong film though. I’m glad he finally won the thing, but if he was gonna win something, it should have been for “Goodfellas”. Instead, he lost that to Kevin Costner and some shit movie he created. Or Taxi Driver. That movie wasn’t even nominated.
Now, let me also say this. Uh, I didn’t watch the Oscars. I really couldn’t care less about the Oscars. But I can say one thing.
Reese Witherspoon is fucking hot. That is all you need to know about the Oscars.
Congrats Again to Mr. Scorsese!
Do We Really Want to See Peyton Manning Win a Superbowl?
Wednesday, January 31, 2007 11:41 pm
Personally, I’d rather see him choke. Piss on Manning. He is on like 54% of all commercials.
Is it wrong that I want his ass to suffer a crushing defeat so him, his brother and his fucking dad will feel sadness and sorrow?
And thank you to the Bears for beating the fucking Saints. Sure it was heartwarming for the city of Nahleans to have a triumphant year and bring back hope to the Mississippi Delta. But look, Archie Manning played for the ‘Aints back in the 70’s & 80’s… if the Saints would have won… The media would be slobbing Archie’s knob all week.
I’m sick of the fucking 2 weeks between the Conference Championship games to the Superbowl. That sucks having to hear all this bullshit about these two teams. Every year, one team creams the other team and the SB is out of reach before the delivery pizza arrives.
But look, Manning needs to feel the misery forever. Its the price he has to pay for being part of that douchebag family.
Sure, people will say, ‘Oh Peyton is such a hard worker… a field general. He studies so much game film, he knows precisely who is gonna fart at precisely the time.’.
Eat a dick. Also, I want to see the Colts die a slow death because of this annoying fucking kid.
Lil Ronnie - Superbowl Bound.
I hope Urlacher jumps in the stands and tackles this kid.
tw
Tom Cruise is the Jesus of Scientology - WWTCD
Friday, January 26, 2007 6:25 pm
It’s official - Tom Cruise is divine. In a week in which we hardly need reminding that religion is the answer, not the problem, there is excellent news for imbeciles, or “Scientologists” as the sect’s leaders euphemistically insist on referring to its followers. Specifically, Tom Cruise is the new Jesus. Right backatcha, Richard Dawkins!
If you believe reports, the deeply sane Mission Impossible star has been told by church bigwigs that he is the “chosen one”, and destined to spread the word of Scientology around the world. Cynics are instructed to put aside the image of Terry Jones squawking, “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very disturbed man!” and just acknowledge how much more resonant the whole water-into-wine thing would have been if Jesus had been able to do cool bar tricks like Tom’s character in Cocktail. Or, perhaps, like Tom’s commanding officer in Top Gun, you believe Jesus’s ego was writing cheques his body couldn’t cash, and that the whole Messiah myth will be reinvigorated by an entertainment personality with a better understanding of the need for an “up” ending.
Show me more… »
Don’t Pick on the Weak.
Thursday, January 25, 2007 11:46 pm
A Night In Paris’ Storage Unit.
5:44 pm
After One Night in Paris, what more is there left to see of the tabloid-friendly title character? Plenty, according to the minds behind parisexposed.com, a subscription-based Website launched Tuesday that is offering access to a load of Paris Hilton’s personal items in exchange for a monthly fee.
The site, which charges $39.97 and is teasing potential subscribers with a video still of Hilton soaking in a bubble bath, boasts that its brain trust has “retrieved, catalogued, itemized and digitized every last item” seized from a Los Angeles storage facility in November 2005, when Hilton apparently failed to pay a $208 bill for her sizable locker.
While Hilton’s publicist characterized the incident as a bureaucratic mix-up due to a third party’s tardiness in settling the tab, the Simple Life star’s belongings were sold for $2,775 to an unnamed buyer.
Show me more… »
Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws
Tuesday, January 9, 2007 10:45 pm1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, on a hill, in the fog.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk
left by those who got there first.
8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Koala Bear Sitting in a Gum Tree…
Monday, January 8, 2007 4:31 pm
A koala is sitting up a gum tree … smoking a joint
when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,
“Hey Koala ! What are you doing?”
The koala says,
“Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala
and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard
says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from
the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans
too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard
Jokes from Grandpa - Four Adult Jokes
Saturday, January 6, 2007 1:17 am
HERE ARE SOME FUNNIES YOU MIGHT LIKE..I HATE THE LAST ONE, IT’S SO TRUE…..
DAMN FLABBY TITTYS.
-GRANDPA
—– Original Message —–
Subject: FW: FOUR ADULT JOKES OF THE YEAR
Four Adult Jokes
Fourth Place:
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221.”
Show me more… »
